Often when I wake up in the morning, my brain is
already buzzing with busy thoughts, thinking of the
agenda of the coming day. Or dealing with bad
memories and images. I realize that my life has been
extraordinary. I have been trained to protect my
country and my fellow man. I have been programmed to
be a highly effective warrior. I have acquired
tremendous skills. My machinery is in highly
responsive, reactive mode. I am alert and on the
But now that I am not at the front, I need to
reprogram myself for civilian life. I need to relax
into an 'off duty' mode. I have experienced tragic
situations. These have left an imprint on my mind.
On my emotional center. I had to participate in
events that were difficult. Violent. All in the line
of duty. Now I must let these images go. And be
attentive to those around me Now.
It is not easy to forget these events. Psychic
scars. But I know that the power of Now, when I am
alive in the present moment is thousands of times
more powerful than Any event of the past. Or the
future. Now is the moment of my only real power.
My legacy of my life as a soldier will always be
there. But right now is when I am alive. I know this
is true but it is difficult to apply. Only with my
breath can I make it go deeper than just my mind.
With my breath and my mind together I can achieve
real chemical changes in my psyche and my whole
body. I can turn on the neurotransmitters like
Dopamine and Seratonin that immediately change my
state. They replace the worry chemicals of Adrenalin
and Cortisol. These are precious substances that I
want to store and not waste on anxiety.
I breathe and feel the endorphins going into their
receptor sites throughout my body. By myself, I have
initiated an internal chemical change that I can
feel. I know that I can do it again if this anxiety
returns. I know that each time I turn the tide of
these anxious feelings, I will build a cumulative
effect. I feel connected and whole…